New mom brings 2-month-old son to brother's 'adults-only' party, ruins the evening with fussing baby: 'It made people uncomfortable'

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Apr 9, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

When you're a new parent, you might imagine that your life might not change too much post-baby. You're bringing a new human into the world, after all. Sure they might need a bit more attention every once in a while, but they'll fall right into place and fit into your daily routine perfectly over time. Well, any well-seasoned parents can vouch for the fact that that's not how things usually play out. You certainly don't have to say goodbye to going out with your friends or engaging in your favorite hobbies, but your relationships with these things will change as your child becomes your top priority.

In our story today, a new mom attempts to juggle her social life with her parenting duties. She brings her newborn to an adults-only chill evening at her brother's place. However, due to the baby's fussing, the music has to be turned down, leading guests to make their way out earlier than they would have if she had adhered to the kid-free suggestion. Scroll down for all the deets.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01

    AITA for telling my sister she shouldn't have brought her baby to my adults-only party?

    Cheezburger Image 10492145408
    via SDI Productions

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (30M) recently had a minor falling out with my sister (28F), and I'm not sure if I overstepped or if she's being too sensitive.
    via u/leatceralwithakinfe
  • 03
    She had her first baby two months ago. I've been really happy for her - I'm not super into kids myself, but I get that it's a huge deal for her. She and her husband are both very "baby brain" right now every conversation somehow leads back to diapers, naps, feeding schedules, etc. -
    via u/leatceralwithakinfe
  • 04
    So last week, my girlfriend and I hosted a small get- together at our place. It was mostly friends from work and a few people from our gym - pretty casual, just drinks, snacks, music. I invited my sister
    via u/leatceralwithakinfe
  • 05
    and her husband too, but told her upfront it was going to be more of a "chill adult night" and probably not the best place to bring the baby. I assumed they'd get a sitter or just one of them would come.
    via u/leatceralwithakinfe
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10492146176
    via carloprearophotos

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    They showed up with the baby. I was a little surprised but tried to be polite. Within like 15 minutes, the baby started fussing, and my sister ended up sitting on the couch nursing him with a blanket over her, while her husband hovered around
    via u/leatceralwithakinfe
  • 08
    awkwardly trying to calm him down. It totally changed the vibe the music got turned down, a - couple people left early, and the rest of us were just kind of keeping our distance. It felt less like a party and more like a weird family visit.
    via u/leatceralwithakinfe
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10492146432
    via Kristina Puakshtite from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    After they left (early, because the baby was fussy), I texted her the next day and said I wished she had respected the vibe of the night and either come without the baby or just skipped it altogether. I said I didn't want to sound harsh, but it kind of threw off the whole thing and made people uncomfortable.
    via u/leatceralwithakinfe

  • This whole thing reeks of lack of communication. First of all, our protagonist could have been a lot more clear about how he wanted the event to be kid-free. Secondly, I am not really sure why she was nursing her baby in the living room couch instead of a quiet room if the baby was bothered by the noise.

  • 11
    She replied saying she felt embarrassed and like I was shaming her for being a mom. She said she didn't think it would be a big deal and that if people were uncomfortable, that was on them. Now she's barely responding to my messages and told our mom that I "humiliated her over nothing."
    via u/leatceralwithakinfe
  • 12
    I don't think I was out of line for being honest. It wasn't a baby-friendly event and I gave her a heads-up. I didn't yell or make a scene - I just told her how it came across. AITA?
    via u/leatceralwithakinfe
  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10492146688
    via bongkarngraphic

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    WasteLeave900 I know you were trying to be sensitive, but I would suggest being very blunt about it moving forward. Rather than saying it's probably best not to bring the baby, outright state the baby isn't allowed, that way there's zero room for interpretation
    via u/WasteLeave900
  • 15
    Medusa_7898 Don't hint about that. Tell people when you invite them, no children or babies are invited.
    via u/Medusa_7898
  • 16
    trvllvr What I think is crazy is she's saying he humiliated her. He didn't say anything to her or her husband in front of everyone, he waited until she left and texted her. He didn't confront her with hostility.
    via u/trvllvr
  • 17
    It's because she KNOWS she shouldn't have brought the baby. She knows it was uncomfortable for everyone else and they made the situation awkward. She's probably embarrassed by her own actions and being told about it, just confirmed it.
    via u/trvllvr
  • 18
    Also, since she's nursing, she was probably worried about feeding the baby. Unless it was a close family member or friend, I wouldn't leave an 8wk old with a sitter. But, an 8wk old at a party?
    via u/
  • 19
    Not safe, health wise for the baby. They probably feel overwhelmed being new parents and are seeing how their lives have changed, so they wanted to do something they'd normally do. However, they needed to think it through better and realize this wasn't the party for them to attend.
    via u/
  • 20
    MissMenace101 Normal people wouldn't invite people with a new born if they wanted exclusively adults especially family. A small group for chillin at home, forego the invite
    via u/MissMenace101
  • 21
    sarnianibbles I think it's normal to still extend an invite to a loved one, even if they can't go. It's nice to be invited! At least I would still like it
    via u/sarnianibbles
  • 22
    Express_Chance_5460 I'm not calling either one of you an AH, but I do think the initial communication was open to interpretation. You said it was "probably not the best place to bring a baby" and her and your BIL probably talked and decided it would be fine since it was at your place. Next time, be straightforward and let her know it's an "adult only, kid free" party.
    via u/Express_Chance_5460
  • 23
    Bertie637 I think this is a learning experience for both of you. You need to learn to be clear in your communication. If it was an adult night you should have said that and not assumed somebody would pick up a "vibe" and your sister needs to learn that maybe a baby isn't going to suit every social situation and to check.
    via u/Bertie637
  • 24
    You aren't TA for not knowing this, but YTA for getting upset other people didn't interpret your gentle suggestions as firm rules. Next time, if you don't want someone to bring their baby, tell them that. Use clear, direct language.
    via u/Fennicular
  • 25
    And be prepared for that to negatively impact your relationship: once people have kids, their life changes. The socialising they do will need to be baby- and then kid-friendly. They will talk about their baby a lot because babies take up your whole life (especially at first!), and they will need to put the baby first. If you aren't up for that, they are going to spend a lot less time with you.
    via u/Fennicular
  • 26
    salmenws Exactly. "Probably not the best place for a baby" leaves just enough wiggle room for hopeful mom- brain logic to kick in. You gotta go full no baby allowed, this is a wine-and-swearing zone. No grey area, no diaper bags, no passive-aggressive lullabies. 100
    via u/salmenws
  • 27
    Adventurous_Ad_6546 Exactly this. And at 8 weeks, it's murkier than it may sound to someone who hasn't been around growing families yet. Weird as it sounds, "chill adult vibe" would be a loud and clear signal to someone with a toddler but not necessarily with a small baby.
    via u/Adventurous_Ad_6546

  •  I don't think new parents should stay cooped up at home, and all babies are different, but if you're at a party and your baby is uncomfortable, it makes more sense to take yourself out of the situation rather than to force everyone to bend to your baby's will.

  • 28
    SouthernRelease7015 I do get that so many first-time parents assume, like I did, that they'll just keep living their life, going to museums, and plays, botanical gardens, concerts, basically any cool thing any of my friends were doing- thinking their newborn is basically just going to be a quiet lump that enjoys all the things they do...
    via u/SouthernRelease7015
  • 29
    What I found out, was that my newborn child was its own, screaming, crying, grunting, and squawking???? person.... He often wasn't just cool to chill. Even if nursed, he might be fussy due to gas.... If burped, he might fuss bc his feet were cold, if wrapped up well, he might cry due to being a baby and not liking the smells and sights and sounds around him.
    via u/SouthernRelease7015
  • 30
    I had no idea those things would be "an issue." I very much assumed my baby would just a be small version of me, and could be toted around and enjoy the things I loved... and I would just need to feed it every so often, and it would only cry due to hunger.
    via u/SouthernRelease7015
  • 31
    It's often embarrassing for first-time parents to realize that's not how it is....their kid isn't special....their newborn isn't going to behave at a party with the parents' adult friends just bc the parents feel chill and happy around those people.
    via u/SouthernRelease7015
  • 32
    The sister likely feels embarrassed and is emotionally projecting. It's gonna take a bit for her new normal to set in...
    via u/SouthernRelease7015

Tags

family drama sisters siblings motherhood parenting couples new mom family newborn mom
Scroll Down For The Next Article